Irritable Planning Syndrom

I may sound bitter, but I like to think that I'm just telling it like it is.

• From a to-do calendar on wedding planning, this one line irritates me to no end, such that I've stopped looking at this calendar for advice. What reason do Martha Stewart editors have for putting the song in this line? Why would they think this reason is a good one?
  

• There is some video going around on YouTube that has gathered over 2 million hits, in which an entire wedding party goes down the procession while dancing to Chris Brown's "Forever." I'm not sure why I even sat through two minutes of the video, and I refuse to link to it here. I know I sound like a pure hater, but I have legit reasons for being critical. First of all, I'm offended by the song/artist choice. Second, Cedric the Entertainer came up with this idea, but in a much better form, in "Kings of Comedy." (Or as Steve Harvey says, "Kangs of Comedy.") See the first minute or so of this clip, and more if you wish to have a good laugh:
  

He does it better than that entire train of rhythmically challenged people BY HIMSELF.

I think I could watch the Kangs over and over and over again, knowing what jokes and lines are coming up, and I'd still never get sick of them.

I'm the press conference, you a conversation

I hear that these Yahoo! streams are counted towards songs' chart position in Billboard, so I feel it is my duty, as a member of her official fan club Honey B. Fly, to post this on my blog. "This" being the video for Mariah Carey's latest single, "Obsessed," from her upcoming album "Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel" due at the end of August. I can never remember whose memoirs they are and I'd prefer that they were those of an imperfect angle, but whatever. She looks good and happy as her music continues to, let's just say, evolve. I would like to see her get her 19th #1 single and destroy the silly Beatles' record in her lifetime and in mine, so...CHECK OUT "OBSESSED" BELOW!

New Whole Foods

My grandma arrived from Japan last Wednesday. After unloading all sorts of goods from her suitcase, my mom and I took her to the new, giantest-in-America Whole Foods on North Avenue to have, of all things, udon (highly recommended). My dad works around this area and is deeply impressed by the selection of cars one sees in their parking lot. He also heard on the radio that despite the recession, the marketing folks have done their research on the surrounding area and guarantee that this one will profit. This is clearly the King of all Whole Foods, one of the most unnecessarily extravagant groceries in the West.

Here is my mom (holding leftover udon) pointing at the giant Lexus SUV that parked recklessly next to us.

There is a cafe near the entrance that serves coffee and the like until 7PM. After that, it turns into a bar. Mordecai and I went later at night to return the Chocolate Chewies that I bought earlier that were far from chewy. We were surprised to see two HDTVs featuring none other than the Mets game and the Sox game. The bar and the surrounding area were pretty busy well into the evening while we were there watching the Mets lose to the Dodgers (probably--I can't really remember).

A nice view of the sky from the bar.

Here I am mingling in the snack section with what I imagine are the rich folk. I am sporting my new Outdoor backpack and my $5 pants from Target. Outdoor products are weird--the company seems to be American, but they only make camping-type products here. In Japan, they make awesome, colorful, patterned products that are obviously not made for camping or the outdoor. I got the "honeycomb" pattern in blue and purple. I love how the thin and weak straps are obviously not made for camping or carrying too many items, like...books.

Memorial Day

Today I met with Mordecai for lunch even though I wanted to stay at home and watch the Michael Jackson memorial on TV. But I couldn't find a listing for it on non-cable TV so I just brought my laptop with me. We ate at Little Branch Cafe, which is tucked amongst those insane and seemingly abandoned high-rise condo buildings near Soldier Field and the Museum Campus. That area of the South Loop is so weird.

On the way back to the more normal part of the South Loop, we stopped by the giant sculptures by Magdalena Abakanowicz. They've been around for a while now I think, but I've never seen them up close; they're kind of creepy. I've seen some of her work at Northwestern's art gallery, and I think her work is often about World War II, which means I probably shouldn't be making a face at the sculpture's crotch in my face, but it was right there.

I spent the rest of the day watching MJ's memorial on and off and trying to read Marxist literature on a computer screen. I can't believe Paris Jackson spoke at the memorial at the end; it's bad enough to see young children crying almost hysterically in public because they've lost their legendary father in an untimely fashion, but what's even sadder is that as the day went on, I wondered, "Did Joe Jackson feed her those lines? Was that scripted?" But Aunt Janet was on standby, so I felt a little reassured (BTW, where was Uncle-To-Be-Someday Jermaine Dupri?). I have to say, as inappropriate as this comment may be, I loved how Paris turned around at the end of her goodbye and just bawled into Aunt Janet's plentiful bosom.

In lighter news, my mom made Fourth of July jello. She's been experimenting with all kinds of jello for the past few years. This past weekend, she made this maki-style kind of strawberry jello. The lighter layer was made with marshmallow, so it was a little soft and chewy. Here is my mom demonstrating one possible way of consuming the roly-poly jello. I am reminded of Fruit-By-The-Foot fruit snacks.

Print Is Not Dead

Tonight we went to Andy and Melinda's new place. We ate and talked baseball, and to everybody's amusement, Andy passed out at 10PM. I heard Michael Jackson songs coming from the living room, so we concluded the housewarming party with Michael Jackson videos. I can't believe I had never seen the entire video for "Smooth Criminal" until tonight! Wuuut. Yet another video that I think trumps "Thriller." But if I ever get a dog, I think I'd like to name it "Thriller."

Before we went home, we dropped by a 7-11 for a Hawaiian Punch Slurpee. Before even entering, I saw Fabolous on the cover of a magazine and made a beeline for it. It was XXL's "Hip Hop Soul" issue, and he shares the cover with The-Dream, who is apparently largely responsible for Mariah Carey's upcoming album and lead-off single, "Obsessed." The magazine was a must-buy. Anyway, LOSO LIVES! I had seen signs of a pulse elsewhere; I guess he has an album coming out shortly.

I'd also like to highlight my Kelly Taylor-esque dress, by a designer named Tracy Feith for Target. It has neon-orange stitching and the bubble hem, which I've loved since the late 90's, early 2000's, when I first saw it in Japan in Cutie magazines. I'd have worn it with Doc Martens to keep the 90's vibe going with the jean jacket (Pikachu on collar), but I like wearing Fryes in the summer. I highly recommend floral dresses in the summer. Next up on my summer-wardrobe-wanty list: a good linen blazer.

Thursday as Friday

I found out yesterday that I don't have to go in for my part-time job tomorrow (scanning barcodes at the Regenstein [again] three times a week). This was a pleasant surprise. Today felt like Friday.

Today's Discoveries

Mushroom hill on Whipple Street

Just something I came across today while walking to the train station after taking Oji out. I thought it was cute.

Jorge Cantu in Spanish ESPN

I screamed out loud when I saw my bench star, Jorge Cantu, on TV at a bar for the first time. I enjoy seeing my non-White Sox Fantasy players on TV. Nar then laughed out loud and yelled "SHOT GUN TO THE FACE," referring to Cantu's Robert Redford-like complexion. I don't think Nar thought of it so positively, but I think Cantu also has a bit of a Redford-like gleam to his eyes. You may think I'm in baseball love, but I maintain that I only find Robert Redford objectively handsome, as in I find him handsome but not the kind that I have an interest in. I feel the same about Brad Pitt and Alain Delon--I see causes for infatuation by others but am not infatuated myself. Also, while Cantu is a fine baseball player in reality, he's been more or less bench material for the past couple of months. That does not warrant true baseball love.

Today's Revisit to the Past

Oscar Mayer Elementary's Field: 12 Years Later

In seventh grade, I played softball. At Oscar Mayer's field, I hit a homerun to centerish-right-ish field. I don't really remember anything else about softball except once I was playing first base, and OMG it was so stressful! I was like, traumatized. Anyway Mordecai and I had some time to kill before seeing "Public Enemies," so we walked around and I revisited the spring of 1997 here with my non-baseball outfit and shoes, and an Elle magazine for a bat.

Pack Wars

Last weekend Joe, Mordecai and I went to the Bunny Hutch for a baseball card event. The event involved miniature golf, batting cages, and pack wars, which I can best describe as something like sports card bingo. Lots of sun, heat, raffles, giveaways...AND SOUTHPAW!!!

I asked for a photo and then asked about how he/it distracts opposing pitchers by doing dances behind home plate in the first row. Then he/it did some dances for me and signed a magnet for me.

This is John of Elite Sportscards and Comics. He is our go-to man when it comes to baseball cards. He is our Baseball Card Uncle.