Kyoho Grapes

I’m still obsessed with grapes. As far as I know, there are two kinds of grapes here: tiny little ones (I forget their name) and giant roly-poly ones (Kyoho, above). I stopped at a local, mediocre grocery on my way home the other day and saw that the little ones were on sale. But where there is a sale, there is a reason. In each package, there was at least one grape that was showing clear and distinct evidence of expiring. I just happened to notice out of the corner of my eye that there were Kyoho grapes not on sale, which appeared fine to the naked eye. I decided to give them a good home.

SO GOOD. American grapes are alright, and it’s nice that there are two color choices, but my goodness they are so bland compared to Kyoho grapes, which are so so so tart and juicy. You have to peel them, which is a real pain in the ass, but that’s when you realize how juicy they are and you know you’re going to have a good feast when you’re done. All the hard work makes them taste that much better. It used to be worse—when I was little, I had Kyoho grapes that had about four large seeds in each grape. Technology has advanced, my friends—forget the square watermelon (I think it is mostly forgotten anyway), on with the seedless Kyoho grapes! Make them teleport to Chicago!