Eternally 12 Years Old

Good God.

As an official member of Mariah Carey's fan club, Honey B. Fly, I feel obligated to speak on the matters at hand. Let's begin by assuming that they really did get engaged and married. I'm just sort of annoyed at how irrelevant Nick Cannon is. It seems like this whole relationship is just an extension of her slogan, "I'm eternally 12 years old!" which would be eternally sad. But overall, the 11 year age difference, whether or not they had a pre-nuptial agreement--I don't really care. We all know that Mariah Carey is crazy, and hey, as long as she's not linked to Eminem, I'm OK with everything.

But what I really care about is the ring. Let's give Cannon the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't give Mimi the leftover ring from his previously failed engagement to a Victoria Secret model. I've read reports that the one Mimi was seen sporting recently is a $2.5 million customized Jacob & Co. pink and white diamond, platinum ring. What I'm pissed about is that I'm just a measly fan--I don't even get out of control at concerts and yell, "THIS IS MY SONG!" and start screaming the lyrics throughout her performance. And yet I know that she's got connections to Van Cleef and Arpels; those ridiculous butterfly rings are customized by VC&A. Surely Mr. Cannon must've know her penchant for Van Queefer and Apple jewelery! That's all I'm mad about. Now we just wait and see what official people officially say about all of this.