Beverly Hills, 90210

For most of January, Mordecai and I watched Seasons 1 and 2 of the TV series "Twin Peaks." I don't remember the show running in the 90's, and I hadn't heard of it until Mordecai told me about it a couple years back. But like the feeling I get from completing Phoenix Wright games, I feel loss and emptiness after it's all over. What now? I ask.

Leo wants to know what next, too. He's got spiders on his face, Shelly on his mind.

A couple weekends ago, I came across a used but near-perfect copy of Season 1 of "Beverley Hills, 90210" at Reckless Records. I know Jenni raves a lot about 90210, but the thing about 90210 and myself is that I was too young to understand the contents of the show. Not only was I too young, but I was also probably a little too foreign, and I wonder if the English went by quickly. I think for these reasons among others, my mom didn't care whether I watched the show or not.

So now, I seize the opportunity to fully comprehend what exactly went down in Beverley Hills, 90210, starting with Season 1 (Season 4 is supposed to come out this April; there were a total of 10 seasons!), which originally aired in 1990-91. Some of the outfits and vocabulary are just too much to bear! I like how the girls' styles are consistent--Brenda reps a conservative Midwest look, Kelly is classic, and Donna is WHACK. One of the cool things about the show is that you're supposed to see teenagers, but really, you have a bunch of 20-somethings and near-30 year olds hanging around open lockers gripping binders with about four sheets of loose-leaf paper in them. Oh, how I looked up to binders so much in early grade school. Don't even get me started on Trapper Keepers.

"Can I buy you a drink or something? Oh come on, I'm a nice guy!"

How come no one told me that Brenda dates REX MANNING in the pilot!?!? His name is actually "Jason," a 25 year old lawyer, but his apartment screams, "Rex Manning! Say no more, mon amour...lips are for kissing, baby je t'adore!"